Tag Archive for 'Friends'

Two Lost Souls (My Random Thoughts)

I’m a dreamer, an idealist, an optimist… but not anymore, at least not right now. My dream has become my nightmare, my ideals are demolished, and my optimistic attitude has been beaten to a pulp and left out to die. What dreams and ideals am I referring to, you ask?

My hope for a friend. My hope for a companion. Two lost souls trying to make it through life’s hard times leaning back and forth on one another. Someone who cares about me and I care about them… making sure each other have what we need and encouraging each other to give of themselves to the world more than we take from it. A relationship built on trust, love, accountability, friendship, dedication, and selflessness. Oh, how I long to hear the words, “Kevin, I’m your best friend and you need to grow a pair.” or some other kind of friendly advice given from someone who knows me better than anybody else.

Now ideally this wouldn’t be a relationship based on co-dependency. Ideally, it would consist of a friendship where two people don’t need each other but choose to rely on each other anyway.

And Hey, I can’t be the only person who dreams of this… look at all the amazing fictional friendships that have been created over the years… Burt and Ernie, JD and Turk, Cory and Shawn, Lorelei and Rory, Ted and Marshall.

“We ain’t fussin’- cuz we got “us’n.” – How wonderful would that be.

I really want to know that my best friend still cares about me and has hope for some kind of future but
the Truth is I can’t change someones choices even if they do effect me and my life.

So for now I have to live with my dream and my nightmare!

“We ain’t fussin’- cuz we got “us’n.”

Making Stuff…

I’m definitely not even close to working out all of the stuff going on in my world, but I at least had a thought today, who knows if it will stick with me. I was cooking this Pina Colada Bread Pudding for a group of friends tonight when I realized that life is kind of like cooking. You take all of this random stuff and you make something of it. And if you are good at it then the final product is something beautiful and delicious all in one.
I really need to learn to take all of this random painfully gross stuff that happens in life and craft it together into something beautiful and delicious. Some of us have better ingredients to deal with than others though. I feel like I have some pretty crappy ingredients.
So it’s just going to take a little more trial and error then some. I hope the relationships I have in my life are strong enough to take some trial and error, because it’s going to take a life time to get it right.
Don’t get me wrong… I love who I am. I love the person I’ve become. But I don’t like my life, my circumstances, I’m not happy because of external conditions; things I have no control over. Those are the ingredients of which I speak. Those are the things I need to learn to accept and use to my advantage; like taking random ingredients and putting them together to make the bread pudding that is my life.

Anyway here are some pictures and a really good recipe for Bread Pudding I stole from Disney.

Serves 12
1. Preheat Broiler. Cut bread into 1 inch cubes, spread on a cookie sheet, broil until golden brown.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
3. Combine Toasted Bread and Pineapple in a Mixing Bowl and then spread into 13x9x2 pan and drizzle with melted butter.
4. Warm Milk in a medium saucepan over medium heat; do not boil. Whisk in eggs, heavy cream, sugar, coconut milk, and rum. Remove from heat.
5. Pour custard over bread mixture. Use fork to push down bread until bread is well soaked.
6. Bake 35 to 40 minutes.

For Rum Sauce
1. Combine egg yolks, cornstarch, 2 tablespoons of milk, and 1 tablespoon sugar in a small mixing bowl, stir until smooth.
2. Combine 1 cup milk, tablespoon of sugar, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract in a small saucepan over medium heat, and bring to a boil.
3. Whisk egg yolk mixture into saucepan.
4. Immediately pour into a bowl in an ice bath to prevent curdling. Add 1 tbsp of rum and whisk thoroughly.

Home!? (Part 1)

“Home” has meant so many different things to me over the years… Who am I kidding? “Home” is one of those words Kierkigaard could use 20 times in one sentence and mean something diferent each time he uses it. I’m not sure what “Home” is, really.
When you’re gone on vacation “home” is the feeling you get when you get to sleep in your own bed for a change.
When you’re young and you scrap up your knee, “home” is a hug from Mom, or when your nervous or scared about something its a pat on the back from Dad.

Even though all of that is still there, as you grow older “home” also grows out of it’s confines of immediate family.
“Home” becomes the feeling you get when you are with your best friend.
“Home” becomes the feeling of being understood and completely understanding another person.
“Home” is being around someone who knows you messed up but is willing to stand there with you anyway.
“Home” is the feeling of loving and being loved by a sea of friends and family.

The list goes on and on. I could keep going but for everyone of these definitions of “home” I wonder how many more there must be and what does that mean? It really appears to me that I may have been created for a “home” of which I’ve only seen bits and pieces.

In order to get a better picture of what “home” really means I need to hear from you guys. When is it that you feel like you’re “home?”