Tag Archive for 'God'

Two Lost Souls (My Random Thoughts)

I’m a dreamer, an idealist, an optimist… but not anymore, at least not right now. My dream has become my nightmare, my ideals are demolished, and my optimistic attitude has been beaten to a pulp and left out to die. What dreams and ideals am I referring to, you ask?

My hope for a friend. My hope for a companion. Two lost souls trying to make it through life’s hard times leaning back and forth on one another. Someone who cares about me and I care about them… making sure each other have what we need and encouraging each other to give of themselves to the world more than we take from it. A relationship built on trust, love, accountability, friendship, dedication, and selflessness. Oh, how I long to hear the words, “Kevin, I’m your best friend and you need to grow a pair.” or some other kind of friendly advice given from someone who knows me better than anybody else.

Now ideally this wouldn’t be a relationship based on co-dependency. Ideally, it would consist of a friendship where two people don’t need each other but choose to rely on each other anyway.

And Hey, I can’t be the only person who dreams of this… look at all the amazing fictional friendships that have been created over the years… Burt and Ernie, JD and Turk, Cory and Shawn, Lorelei and Rory, Ted and Marshall.

“We ain’t fussin’- cuz we got “us’n.” – How wonderful would that be.

I really want to know that my best friend still cares about me and has hope for some kind of future but
the Truth is I can’t change someones choices even if they do effect me and my life.

So for now I have to live with my dream and my nightmare!

“We ain’t fussin’- cuz we got “us’n.”

Justice for my Pain

Ever since I became addicted to the show “Joan of Arcadia” (a moment of silence please…) I’ve begun to imagine what it would be like to have conversations with God. I’ve decided that maybe it’s time to start sharing some of these discussions… Maybe they’re not just for me! Here is my most recent…

Why is it that in reality the heroes are also the villains… Why is it that the people who change my life for the better eventually turn around to cause me so much pain?

Kevin, the world of heroes and villains as separate entities, is not the world I created. Life was created by choice. I chose you and gave you the ability to choose as you see fit. You need to stop trying to define people in order to label them. People aren’t good or bad, that’s something that just can’t be measured, it’s the choices we make in life that are quantitative. There aren’t heroes or villains but heroic or villainous choices. It gives each person in each situation in each moment the choice to follow their selfish nature or to step outside of themselves into something beyond.
The ideas you have of villains and heroes are your ideas not mine. It’s you trying to get justice for those who are causing you pain. Just because you feel pain does not automatically mean that someone has presented you with some form of evil or evil decision and just because you feel that pain does not give you the right to start judging those who are the source of that pain. See, pain can be an indicator of good relationships and influences as well. The pain in your life is a big part of your story and can only be understood once your story has reached it’s end. Choose to endure, it’s the only way pain will find it’s purpose.

Quote of the Week

Innocence is more than an absence of guilt. It’s having faith that there’s goodness in the face of cruelty and pain. Someplace, you still feel that way. And that’s me. And I’ll always be there.

-Old Lady God (Joan of Arcadia ep.2.19)

Home!? (Part 2)

I’ve dreamed of this place where all the things people fear the most don’t even exist; things like death, darkness, and evil. A place that solely consists of life, light, and goodness. A place so perfect that only God himself is worthy enough to remain there.
So what is this place? Is it our home? Maybe that’s what that feeling of home is… a glimpse of something so full of life, light and goodness. Maybe it’s a glimpse of the home we were created for. Is it possible that every genuine connection we experience with one another is the beginning of a journey that could lead us home. What if we took all the energy that we usually put toward preserving our dignity, our independence, our pride, and our right to pursue our own self-serving happiness and use it to develop real genuine relationships. Maybe then we would be closer to bridging the gap between our earthly dwelling and the place we were created for.
These thoughts make me ask other questions. Questions about the relationships themselves. Where do they come from? What happens when there gone? The times I feel most at home are times when real relationships are present. It makes me wonder if friendships are really even of this planet. Maybe every time a genuine connection is made it’s not only birthed here on this earth but also in heaven. Which would mean that maybe when the connection is no longer available on earth the connection remain available to us from heaven. I tend to believe that these real genuine connections never die. Every genuine connection I’ve ever had still lives on and is constantly changing me, it didn’t just change me just once, but continues to consistantly cause growth in my life. Maybe that’s what an angel really is, a genuine connection that forever continues to impact our lives even once the physical friendship is gone. And maybe that’s what home is, the place where we feel most connected. Maybe it’s time for the body of Christ to start making it’s way “home.”