Tag Archive for 'Relationship'

The Hierarchy of Relationship and Possible Solutions!

“Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people can work together without someone taking charge… It’s one reason why experiencing true relationships is so difficult for you.”
This is a statement made by the God character in the book, “The Shack.” The reason I’m quoting it here is that from my perspective this fact is quite relevant, it is so difficult to have a relationship with someone without one person stepping up and taking control. The person who steps into the more dominant role ends up making all of the decisions, all of the plans (or lack of plans), while the other one sits there quietly submissive. It’s just too easy to slide into that type of relationship, especially when one is older than the other or there is a more dominant or controlling personality involved. I guess it’s the survival of the fittest friendship edition.

Now the way I see it, there are two ways to break free from this type of relationship.

1. To choose independence over relationship. This is usually the solution of choice for the more submissive person in a relationship. It’s a way out. It’s a way to rapidly switch the control into the opposite hands. This choice is often seen as the easiest choice because it allows for the initiator to feel very little pain because it immediately frees them up to pursue their own happiness. The big quandary here being, that anytime independence is chosen over relationship there is a tendency to enter very dangerous territory where others become objects to be controlled, manipulated, or managed for ones own happiness, because now the control is in their hands.
2. The other option is to choose relationship, to begin the messy and difficult process of colliding head to head with another human being by no longer being submissive but still being present. This would be the route of choice for those who are not afraid of being honest and not afraid of feeling pain or causing pain. This option is very much dependent on ones ability to be honest with the way you feel and to remain steadfast in walking through the disaster of emotions and situations that follow with honest, loyalty, and integrity, but to choose to do so together.

Home!? (Part 2)

I’ve dreamed of this place where all the things people fear the most don’t even exist; things like death, darkness, and evil. A place that solely consists of life, light, and goodness. A place so perfect that only God himself is worthy enough to remain there.
So what is this place? Is it our home? Maybe that’s what that feeling of home is… a glimpse of something so full of life, light and goodness. Maybe it’s a glimpse of the home we were created for. Is it possible that every genuine connection we experience with one another is the beginning of a journey that could lead us home. What if we took all the energy that we usually put toward preserving our dignity, our independence, our pride, and our right to pursue our own self-serving happiness and use it to develop real genuine relationships. Maybe then we would be closer to bridging the gap between our earthly dwelling and the place we were created for.
These thoughts make me ask other questions. Questions about the relationships themselves. Where do they come from? What happens when there gone? The times I feel most at home are times when real relationships are present. It makes me wonder if friendships are really even of this planet. Maybe every time a genuine connection is made it’s not only birthed here on this earth but also in heaven. Which would mean that maybe when the connection is no longer available on earth the connection remain available to us from heaven. I tend to believe that these real genuine connections never die. Every genuine connection I’ve ever had still lives on and is constantly changing me, it didn’t just change me just once, but continues to consistantly cause growth in my life. Maybe that’s what an angel really is, a genuine connection that forever continues to impact our lives even once the physical friendship is gone. And maybe that’s what home is, the place where we feel most connected. Maybe it’s time for the body of Christ to start making it’s way “home.”