Tag Archive for 'The Shack'

The Hierarchy of Relationship and Possible Solutions!

“Humans are so lost and damaged that to you it is almost incomprehensible that people can work together without someone taking charge… It’s one reason why experiencing true relationships is so difficult for you.”
This is a statement made by the God character in the book, “The Shack.” The reason I’m quoting it here is that from my perspective this fact is quite relevant, it is so difficult to have a relationship with someone without one person stepping up and taking control. The person who steps into the more dominant role ends up making all of the decisions, all of the plans (or lack of plans), while the other one sits there quietly submissive. It’s just too easy to slide into that type of relationship, especially when one is older than the other or there is a more dominant or controlling personality involved. I guess it’s the survival of the fittest friendship edition.

Now the way I see it, there are two ways to break free from this type of relationship.

1. To choose independence over relationship. This is usually the solution of choice for the more submissive person in a relationship. It’s a way out. It’s a way to rapidly switch the control into the opposite hands. This choice is often seen as the easiest choice because it allows for the initiator to feel very little pain because it immediately frees them up to pursue their own happiness. The big quandary here being, that anytime independence is chosen over relationship there is a tendency to enter very dangerous territory where others become objects to be controlled, manipulated, or managed for ones own happiness, because now the control is in their hands.
2. The other option is to choose relationship, to begin the messy and difficult process of colliding head to head with another human being by no longer being submissive but still being present. This would be the route of choice for those who are not afraid of being honest and not afraid of feeling pain or causing pain. This option is very much dependent on ones ability to be honest with the way you feel and to remain steadfast in walking through the disaster of emotions and situations that follow with honest, loyalty, and integrity, but to choose to do so together.